Work Stuff

As most of you would know already by now, I have been appointed as Senior Specialist. I have mixed feelings about it. Mostly, I feel trepidation. Some elation, I must admit, because, hey it has been 9 years since I last had a promotion. But I have been ok with that because I am at peace with the career choices I have made. I knew saying no at the VP interview would mean being forgotten for a number of years. But I am happy about my choices. Because I know I would have been a lousy VP and would have probably made all my teachers super-unhappy as a result of all my inadequacies :)

Now, I am still unsure about what my present appointment would mean for me. It is not a job I am unhappy doing, I don't feel it is a job I cannot handle. But it is a job that I don't think gives me soul satisfaction. I am glad that I was open with my bosses - I did say that I wanted to go back to teaching at the end of the day. Especially after my Laos trip, I have come to recognise that what makes me truly happy is teaching young people. My motivation is that 'aha' moment - when suddenly things fall into place for the kids. The look in their eyes when they understand something they have been grappling with. That's what give me a high.

I did a school visit last week and I wished it wasn't just the teachers I was talking to. But now that I have been appointed, I must focus on the job at hand - that is only fair and right. And as I said before, it is not a job I dislike. I like doing research, I like conducting workshops (oh, this I like very much), I like thinking & I like the people I work with. But I love being in school.

So, I asked God - what now God? What is your plan for me? Am I not going back to teach? But my dear, wise Wai Yin sms-ed me :"His plans are good and to give you a future and a hope." And that was what I needed to hear. Of course! Here I am trying to make my own plans again! As usual! Every time it comes to making a decision, it's me, me, me again. It is yet another time for me to trust God. To accept that nothing happens on a single day in my life that He has not ordained. It is an easy thing to say to others, but a difficult thing for me to follow :)