Nostalgia in Malacca

Yesterday, Durai , Saro and I drove up to Malacca to attend my cousin Rajamani's 60th birthday celebrations. Of course, the Hindu custom is to do this by conducting what essentially is a second marriage - a renewal of wedding vows. I found it really funny when I said 'Happy Birthday' to Raja and he said, "Oh! Yes! That's what this is, isn't it?" :) Anyway, we left at 7am and we were back by 5.00pm. Quite a slow drive back because we got caught in a really heavy storm.

My 2 sisters left in KL - Rajam & Lalitha - had also come and had esconced themselves in the front row to which they escorted Saro as well so there I had to sit too. Very matronly.Then of course came the array of old people who all had to be told who I was. Most unflatteringly, one old lady thought I was Mena. But I put it down to the fact that once you hit 80, everyone younger looks the same to you whether they are 40, 50, 60 or 70. Hmph!

Well, it was the first Brahmin function I had been to in a long, long time and I had fun noting all the changes that had taken place in the past 30 years: (i) The guys who were the teenagers and young men when I was a kid have now become the stalwarts and pillars of the Brahmin community. (ii) There was a distinct presence of non-Brahmins in the form of daughters-in-law and sons-in-law in what had essentially been a homogeneous group. So much so that D didn't stick out like a sore thumb :) (iii) The 10-cent coins distributed after the function that I used to wait for so desperately have now been upsized to 50-cent coins & the kids didn't seem so eager to get hold of them as we had been.

But some things hadn't changed (i) there was 'theratipaal'- my favourite next to chocolate and no one makes it like I have eaten at the Samajam (ii) the iyer!! My word, he must be more than 80! (iii) the potato curry! So yes, Jen, this WAS all about going there to eat. Ha ha :)

What I was still sad about though, is that again I didn't get a chance to talk to Jaya. But coming back I was thinking in the car about it and rationally of course, I feel that if I had wanted to talk, then I should have made time to meet - not at the 2 functions but at her home; or I should have called.Emotionally, however, I realise also that 36 years is a long time. I left PJ in 1971, when I was 14. Our contact since then has been sporadic at best. I don't even remember when she got married and of course she settled in the US after that, so the distance grew even wider. These were the days before the email and letter writing has never been my strength so I guess it was inevitable that we have missed out on huge chunks of each other's lives. I rather hope we will be able to catch up somewhat through email, God willing.

I forgot to take my camera along so no pictures to post, but Rajamani's house was beautiful and they had hired a Wall's ice cream box so there was free flow of ice cream (yes, Jen, more food). Lalitha managed the miracle of marshalling everyone into a group photograph and I hope Giri sends it to me. If he does then you can see the Hariharan clan together with the Rengan clan.

It was a good trip. D was really exhausted when we got back and I'm grateful he drove us up. But I am glad we went. What touched me was that Rajamani's children had remembered to invite all of us to the function. And it was wonderful to hear how fondly people remembered my parents. Every old lady or man who spoke to me said what a 'nalla manushan' my father had been and my mother's crony (singular - because only one is left of her circle of 4) teared when she spoke of my mother. It was a journey of some sort down memory lane - both for them and me.