"(S)he is like a tree planted by streams of water, which yields its fruit in season and whose leaves do not wither. Whatever s(he) does prospers." (Psalm 1:3)
I spent an hour in the dentist's chair this morning. It was Part 2 of the root canal process that began 2 weeks ago. I expected to be done in 20 minutes like the last visit but this one was excruciatingly long. So my jaw hurts - from being propped open for so long and my back hurts from the enforced immobility. Towards the end of the procedure my mouth actually started quivering like an unused muscle would when subjected to prolonged tension. It has not been a pleasant morning.
While I was lying there with my molar being 'rooted', I had a lot of time to think.... I started out thinking about the work I should do, then I decided I would go through my prayer list :) And for the first time in a long while I actually finished praying for all on my list! Hahahahaha. So I think I will be better prepared at my next visit. I think I will download an audio bible to my iPhone and listen to a book while I am there. I thought about downloading songs but I realised that was not a good idea because the dentist had his radio on and when there was a particularly catchy song my feet started tapping the air and then I heard an exasperated "Don't move." Right. So no music.
This root canal job is costing me a tidy $2k, but my friend tells me it is a reasonable price, so I will not grumble too much. Sadly, sadly, I am beginning to feel a twinge of pain in my lower molar as well and I didn't like the way my dentist's eyes lit up above his mask when I mentioned it to him. Then I heard a muffled "One at a time, one at a time" and so I think the man has found a goldmine in my mouth...
I shared at CYAN for the first time last Wednesday. Preparing for it took a long time and I learnt what it meant to wait on the Lord. For dear Emmaline, who asked for it, here is my 'mini sermon' :) To those of my readers who don't understand 'Singlish', ie the Singapore-brand of English, I apologize...
Choose
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I used to teach in a school called Jurong Institute that was located in Toh Tuck Road. It was an old building but it occupied quite a big area.
There were two gates by which you could enter the school (not counting the hole in the fence that was used by those who came to school late and left early). One was the main gate – it was wide to allow cars to drive in. The other was narrow and meant for pedestrians. It was a school policy, which only the Principal and Heads of Department seemed to know about, that the narrow gate would be for the students to walk through so that they would be out of harm’s way and not dash across the path of cars turning in to the school.
But every morning, guess which gate the students insisted on walking through? Of course, the wide one.
They would saunter in, in twos and threes, chatting, or listening to their mp3 players totally oblivious to the teachers and parents who were trying to drive in through the same gate. Things would get really exciting 5 minutes before the school bell rang because both the students who were late and the teachers who were late would be rushing in through the wide gate. There were many near misses. Mercifully, there was only one accident.
Every time I saw this drama at the school gate I wished I could yell at the students "Come in through the narrow gate!” Maybe that is what God is yelling at us too. Maybe He too is shaking his head seeing us sauntering through the wide gate that leads to death. For in Matthew 7: 13-14, Jesus says,
“Enter through the narrow gate. For wide is the gate and broad is the road that leads to destruction and many enter through it. But small is the gate and narrow the road that leads to life and only a few find it.”
Let us consider the verse. There are three points to consider: (1) the size of the gate, (2) the number of people who enter, and (3) the end of the path.
John MacArthur points out that “Jesus presents two choices and only two - two gates, the Narrow and the Wide; two ways, the Narrow and the Broad; two groups, the Few and the Many; and two destinations, Life and Destruction”. Ultimately there are only two choices – to follow Jesus or not.
Many people today find such a stark choice unacceptable. The idea of “and” is more attractive than the idea of “or”. So we hear statements such as “the world is not black & white” or “that may be right for you, but not necessarily right for me”; we hear terms such as “situational ethics” and “relative truths”.
But if we come back to the Scriptures, that is all God presents us with – the narrow way or the broad way; the way to life or the way to destruction.
The narrow gate sounds difficult; it sounds as if it would be a struggle to enter through it and indeed in Luke 13, Jesus says “Strive (make every effort) to enter through the narrow door”. The narrow way seems lonely, there are few people who enter by it. In contrast, the wide gate is open, welcoming. It is where the crowds are and it sounds so much easier to get in. People walk in the broad way easily, without much thought, carried along with the company. The narrow way is not popular, it is often solitary. And maybe those who saunter casually and easily through the wide gate laugh at those foolish ones who are filing in through the narrow door on to the narrow way....
But Jesus says wide is the gate and broad is the road that leads to destruction. He says just because you see many people walking that road you must not be seduced by it. No matter how attractive other ways look, they will lead us to death. Perhaps not physical death (as my dear students were in danger of) but as LT said, spiritual death, intellectual death, emotional death. And Jesus tells us to choose.
Let us come back to my story of my students.Why did the students use the wide gate? Why didn’t they walk a little more and come through the narrow gate? Their reasons were simple.
“Cher, so lecheh-lah cher…”
The students I caught were incredulous that I could not see how much more convenient the wide gate was. The answer was so obvious to them. It was the first entrance as they walked up the hill and it was wide open. Sure, the cars had to dodge them, but that wasn’t a big deal, surely?
The size of the gate makes walking through it easy and sometimes we do just that, because doing something the right way sometimes requires making an extra effort. And I think of Daniel. How much easier it would have been to eat the food provided for him. He could have reasoned to himself, I am an exile in a foreign land, how am I going to find the food I need. I am under the rule of the king, how am I going to go against his authority. Many times I too have reasoned my way into sin. Sometimes the wrong way just seems more convenient and obvious.
But Daniel chose the narrow way. He negotiated, he found creative solutions because He was focused on pleasing God. I am sure it was so lecheh for him, to eat nothing but vegetables. Maybe the person who prepared the separate meals for Daniel and his friends grumbled at how lecheh they were.
Settling for a way that does not honour God because it is inconvenient is a slippery slope, my friends. Yes, it might mean taking a longer route, yes, there will be some inconvenience, and yes you might feel foolish. But only the narrow gate and the narrow way lead to Jesus and we will do well to remember the warning - “There is a way that seems right to man, but in the end it leads to death.” (Prov 14:12)
The second reason my students would give me is this...
“Cher, other people also...”
With teenagers (and those who haven’t matured beyond their adolescence), ‘because everyone else was doing it’ was reason enough. Many of them would wait at the bus-stop for each other or would travel to school together and so would walk in through the wide gate, busy talking and laughing, sharing ear-phones... The thought of stopping each other and reminding each other to go through the narrow gate never ever occurred to them.
Sometimes, we too get carried away by the choices and decisions of others. It is easy to follow the crowd. Two years ago, I did just that. At my workplace, we had a team leaders’ meeting at the end of the year when work allocations for the following year were usually announced. Half way through the meeting I left to go to the toilet. When I opened the door to enter the room again, every single team leader in the room turned to look at me. I was taken aback. Clearly something had been said but I didn’t know what. Within minutes 4 notes were passed to me, asking me to look at the work allocation more closely. Then it dawned on me. An unpopular colleague had been placed in my team the following year! There was a great deal of animosity against him in the office and the general talk was that he did not do the work assigned to him, drew attention to what he did do, and made himself look good in front of the bosses. This colleague was also very assertive and usually got his way.
Egged on by my friends, I did a very foolish and unprofessional thing. I spoke up at the meeting and refused to take the colleague into my team. I went so far as to give my boss an ultimatum. I said either take him out of my team or make him the team leader because I refused to work with him. I put my boss on a spot, I misused my seniority, I played a power game. It was easy to walk through the wide gate. Because I had the support of all my friends.
But God gave me no peace. During my QT the same night, He confronted me. And I accepted that I had shamed my God by the way I had behaved. God convicted me of not only behaving badly, but also of being a bad example to the other Christians in my office. The next morning I had to eat humble pie. I spoke to my boss, I apologized. I also apologized to my Christian friends. My other friends were too busy shaking their heads at me to care! But I knew I had walked through the wide gate because of the support of the many.
The persuasion of friends is a dangerous thing. Once when I hesitated, my friend asked me impatiently “Do you always do only what is right?” and I thought to myself “No I don’t” and sinned. Thinking back, I ask myself how I could have been so foolish, but at that moment it seemed as if I had committed so many sins already that one more didn’t matter. I sinned because I wanted to please my friend and I wanted his approval.
The wide gate is very accommodating of company, my friends. Many walk through it. But a popular choice is not necessarily a right choice. And in the laughter of company we will miss the still, small voice of God.
“Cher, never think so much lah…”
This was the third reason my students offered me. They walked through the wide gate because they didn’t think about consequences and alternatives. Walking through the wide gate was just thoughtlessness. They were focused on getting to the assembly area before the bell rang. They did not think there would be drivers rushing in as well, they didn’t think there was another safer way. Some of these students did not deliberately set out to do wrong. They just did not think about their actions and the choice they were making.
Sometimes, we slide into sin in the same way – through carelessness, negligence, because we were not watchful. Sometimes this complacency sets in when we are too comfortable with God’s grace and love. Sometimes, we let our guard down because we are riding high – all is well with our world, we are busy doing God’s work and we think to ourselves “Lord, I could never leave You, I could never do what so-and-so did.”
Friends beware if that thought ever comes to your mind. If you hear or see someone fall and say to yourself “I don’t understand how such a committed Christian like him could do that” or “I would never do that”, you are in danger. Because everyone of us is capable of every sin given the wrong circumstance, place or time. Satan is an expert fisherman and he knows exactly which bait will catch which fish.
We must not live unexamined lives. The Psalmist cries out “Search me o God, and know my heart! Try me and know my thoughts! And see if there is any grievous way in me and lead me in the way everlasting!” (Ps 139:23-24). A thoughtless life leads us in the way of destruction. It is a life of moral short-cuts and ultimately a path away from God.
In the end, my friends, it is a matter choice – narrow or wide, in the company of a trusted few or the merriment of many, towards destruction or towards life. But it is an important choice and one that we make every day with our thoughts, words and actions.
Today I speak to you, as someone who has not always stayed on the narrow path, someone who has walked through those wide gates, who has enjoyed the thoughtless company of people headed for destruction. I have turned back only by the grace of God. I want to encourage you, don’t live the convenient, easy, popular, thoughtless life. CHOOSE to enter by the narrow gate, choose the path of isolation if need be and you will choose life. For, my friends, the promise of God is this – “If the Lord delights in a man’s way, he makes his steps firm; though he stumble, he will not fall, for the Lord upholds him with his hand.” (Ps 37:23-24)
"Though you have made me see troubles, many and bitter, you will restore my life again; from the depths of the earth you will again bring me up. You will increase my honor and comfort me once again."
Just got back today from church retreat in Johor Bahru, Malaysia. It was a 3D2N retreat for the young adults in my church and I went along as this is where I serve in church. I love worshipping and praying with young adults. They have a zest, passion and freshness for God that energises me :)
We had a fantastic speaker for this retreat - Mr L.T. Jeyachandran - whom everyone calls "LT". LT's speciality is Apologetics and we all came away challenged by his deep knowledge of the Word as well his insightful explanation of how we need to latch our own narratives onto God's meta-narrative. I was especially stirred by the picture he painted of the uniqueness of man as the only one created in the image of God and how the sin I commit mars the dignity of my unique human condition.
It was a good weekend away. Amazingly, there were no traffic jams on the causeway at all, both on Thurs and on Sat. The hotel was also a pleasant one and I had far too much to eat :) But I enjoyed the time away, and the opportunity to catch up with the young adults in other cells whom I normally don't have time to talk to during CYAN cell nights.
The quote for the day was this: "Success is simple. Do what's right, the right way, at the right time." (Arnold Glasgow) I wonder, though, is it simple? Sometimes it doesn't feel like I know what is the right thing to do. And I can't say I have always done things the right way. And I have my share of missed opportunities - times when I could have done the right thing but lacked the courage or will to.
I doubt I will ever reach a time or phase in life when I can say this is right for me at this point in time and I am doing it the way I want to. I would like to be able to say that. But that is not always possible for me. Yes, sometimes I don't do what is right for me because I think about the implications of my decision on others. Many times I have done what is right in a bull-headed way and negated the effect of my right action through the manner in which I did it. Once I was drawn into doing something wrong because I took the bait when my friend said "Do you always do what is right?" It seems incredibly stupid now but the knowledge I had done so many wrong things before consoled me into adding one more wrong action to my long list.
Sometimes, preachers make decisions look so easy. Do what the Bible says. Right is right in God's eyes. Wrong is wrong. But sometimes two decisions both look and feel right. Then what?
Then I need wisdom and discretion; then I need good friends' advice; then I need to tell myself "Trust in the Lord with all your heart and do not lean on your own understanding. In all your ways acknowledge Him and He will make straight your paths." (Prov 3:5-6)
It was Teachers' Day on 1 Sept. It is a school holiday and traditionally on the day before, all schools have a half day of celebrations. I have missed Teachers' Day every year since I left teaching. I suppose it is because my love language is 'Words of Affirmation', but I have saved every card that my students have given me, all stuffed in folders. The first few years in my new job, I used to take out these cards on Teachers' Day, just to assure myself that I had done somethings right :)
I had a very nice Teachers' Day this year, thanks to Facebook & sms technology because I heard from many students, all over the world :) I guess it is far easier to connect with me from the ease of their homes now. I also had a dedication in The Straits Times and that was sweet. I guess all these wishes were extra special to me because of my rotten year . My self esteem was feeling quite bashed up and bedraggled so I feel blessed that my students bothered to write. Just needed to feel some love :)
I spent the day determined not to work. I had a nice long QT. I pampered myself with a visit to House where I had a long luxurious massage then got waxed and my nails done. I had CYAN in the evening so I got to worship and there was prayer for all the teachers so that made me feel the day was nicely wrapped up. Love from others, love for self and love from my God.
