Sleepless in Singapore

It is 4.20am and I can't sleep. Not sure if it isbecause I am jetlagged or because of my cough. But I have been so busy since I came back that I rather welcome this opportunity to have some quiet and to gather my thoughts. Blogging has in some strange way become therapeutic, almost (but not quite) as journalling.

Work has piled up in office largely due to me having been away for so long. I feel the length of my absence especially in the amount of office gossip and happenings that I have to be filled in on :) I spent the whole of my first day back at work just clearing my email yet there were still 21 unread emails in my inbox when I left work yesterday. But it felt good to be back and to fit back into the office chatter. I was a bit sad though to learn that my two immediate neighbours Ben and Martin would be moving into new cubicles in Jan. I shall miss the casual chats we have - I know from past experience that somehow when people aren't in the cubicle right next to you, there is a little bit more effort that one has to make.

But I am far sadder over the fact that my birthday party photos turned out badly. I have been waiting to get the photos before I blogged about my party so I could share the moments. Well I saw the photos on Tuesday and my heart ached. I actually came home and cried. Some of the photos had double images, most of them were dark but worst of all, there were just no photos at all of some people I had posed with . The most unforgivable omission of all to me was the group photo I had taken with my 7 sisters. That was a really important moment for me and the photographer just didn't manage to get it.

I don't know what it is with me and photos but I just love them. My home is full of photo albums and I just get pleasure out of looking at old photos. In fact one of my post-retirement plans was to take a course in photography and to catalogue all the photos I have. I had been really looking forward to the 50th birthday album I was going to put together. I was first disappointed when the photos taken at my family party on the 7th were botched because I had set the camera for nightime and my daughters had not realised that when they snapped the photos. As a result most of the photos were shaky. I was sad then but I knew the fault was as much mine, as I should have warned my girls about it. But I had higher hopes pinned on the photographer for my party as I thought he would do a good job. And I was also excited over the fact that I would have all my friends I had not met for ages and my family who lives in different parts of the globe with me that evening.

I don't know what life lesson I am supposed to learn from this disappointment. Right now I am not ready for it. But I suppose as with all things I will come to accept it and move on. And Saro - thanks for the long call to commiserate with me :)

Hello from London

So here I am at an Internet cafe on Cromwell Road, London, blogging. Am in London for work and it's really cold. Well, maybe not really cold because it is still autumn and not winter yet. I am not planning to stick around till then to find out. I'm glad there is a label for the way I feel though - Seasonal Affective Disorder - SAD, which is how the cold makes me feel... Give me sunshine, baby :)

Well, due to a spectacular mix-up I'm here one day before the actual meeting date so I had a free day's stay in London. I spent the early part of the morning sorting out the problem and then spent the rest of the day wandering around. Thanks to Maya's tip off I walked down to Holy Trinity Brompton, harbouring hopes of running into Nicky Gumbel, the ALPHA man himself, but no luck. The church too was closed because they had had an ALPHA meeting last night and they were re-arranging the chairs etc. So I wandered around the bookshop, then had an expensive lunch (£9 for a baguette and soup!!) before visiting the Natural History Museum. I must say it was interesting and I was awed by the dinosaur at the entrance as well as the huge Blue Whale. I must confess there were moments when I doubted how Job could have been swallowed by a fish and how he survived inside it till it spewed him out at Nineveh, but after seeing that Blue Whale, I doubt no more! :)

I can't wait to go home - not just to get out of this cold, but also because I just want some routine in my life again. I am such a routine kind of person. Things at home have been out of synch for a while now with my family visiting, my China trip, then my birthday bash and now my UK trip, so I'm just tired. I want the familiarity of waking, praying and yes, even going to work. I want to not have to think about what to wear. And update my blog. Well, Neen, you will have to wait longer for an update now.

I guess this is as good a time as any to learn to just live in the present, to take each day as it comes and to do just what I need to do today.... I truly believe God planted us just where we are meant to be. I am meant for the sunshine :)

It Was A Blast!

To all those who are keen to know what happened for my birthday, I am afraid you will have to wait. I had 2 parties - one thrown by my sisters on my actual birthday and the other bash organised by my niece, daughters and 3 ex-students on the 10th. Five of my sisters have gone back, the last 2 at 6.30am this morning; Jennani left 2 hours ago and I am in the middle of my frenzied packing before I leave in 8 hours; time for London for work. I hope I'll be able to catch my breath in London and hopefully update! For now let me just say, it was a blast, I had a great time, it was lovely to see so many of my friends and family and I am really grateful to all those who came to celebrate with me :)

Happy Birthday to me

So this it. I am 50. Strange how everything feels exactly the same it did yesterday. Hahahaha. I had a great day even though as I suspected a number of people forgot it was my birthday today. I'm sure I'm going to be getting the usual apologetic calls and sms-es tomorrow or even the day after. Then there will be the handful who will think forever more that my birthday is on 10th Nov :)

I had two surprises today - a huge bouquet of chocolates that Neena sent me - 50 of them with the express command that I am not to share them. Hahaha - Neen can you imagine what I would look like if I did? But it was a sweet thing to do though if I could have chosen, I would have preferred you at my party than the chocs:) And a lovely orchid plant from my student Anitha. Thanks a lot my dear. It was a lovely surprise & again, I wish you could come :)

Then in the evening, my sisters threw me a great party. It was a strange experience for me, being the reason why my sisters had gathered. To be honest, I had mixed feelings - I was really, really touched at the fact that they have all made the effort to come all the way to celebrate my 50th. But also saddened a little by the fact that a number of them struggled to remember something about me. The most anecdotes about me had to do with me being sick or being taken to hospital :) My sister Mena, however, wrote a really lovely 'poem' that showed me how she, among all my sisters, had been so much a part of my life. But this is an aspect of my family life that I have come to accept - that it was just the way things were, that my parents were so old when I was born and my sisters had all left home to pursue their studies / career or to start their own families while I was growing up and I was always on the periphery of things. And it was as my nephew Vijay said - that my nieces and nephews seemed more like my siblings than my sisters and although I was the youngest in my family, I was often in the role of being the 'eldest' among my nephews and nieces. And I must admit I did my fair share of bullying of my nieces and nephews :) Speaking of whom, I was really really really happy and touched that my niece Mala made a surprise trip all the way from New Zealand to be at my birthday. She flew in this morning and walked into my party. What a lovely, lovely surprise.

Anyway, it was a great evening. My brother-in-law cooked, we played games, we reminiscenced, we had cake - it was a delicious banana-choc fudge from Awfully Chocolate - and it was lots of fun. My sisters bought me the sari I am wearing in the pics as well as a very pretty bracelet. Here are the pics of the cake, the gift and of me and my sisters in all our glory :)

Back to Routine (for a while)

It’s been 4 days now since I came back from China but my bags are still sitting in the hall, unpacked. If I had a choice I would have scheduled a day after my return to just chill and catch up with the many small but time-consuming tasks such as stocking up the fridge, answering emails and sms-es and paying the numerous bills that were sitting in the letter box. Unfortunately I had a full day seminar to attend on the day after I returned as well as important official duties the next 2 days and I have gone home quite tired the past 3 days. The first night when I came back was fitful because I completely forgot my no-caffeine-after-2.00 pm rule on the flight back from Shanghai and ended up not being able to sleep till around 11.30pm and waking up at 4.30am. Sigh…

Anyway, it’s Friday today and I want to attend the last Prayer Meeting for the year at church tonight so it looks like the bags are not going to be unpacked tonight either! But I have scheduled a much needed massage session this evening and I am looking forward to that. The bags will have to wait till tomorrow!

I have also decided to set up a different blog to chronicle my China trip as I wanted to continue writing about other stuff here and doing a day by day description of my China trip would have meant not writing about other stuff until I had finished with my 12-day journey. Also this way, I can upload photos and write at my own leisure and it spares those of you who couldn’t care less about what I did in China. So if you are interested, I have updated Day 1 in China here (and no, that is not a typo in my blog title… hahaha).