Sleepless in Singapore

It is 4.20am and I can't sleep. Not sure if it isbecause I am jetlagged or because of my cough. But I have been so busy since I came back that I rather welcome this opportunity to have some quiet and to gather my thoughts. Blogging has in some strange way become therapeutic, almost (but not quite) as journalling.

Work has piled up in office largely due to me having been away for so long. I feel the length of my absence especially in the amount of office gossip and happenings that I have to be filled in on :) I spent the whole of my first day back at work just clearing my email yet there were still 21 unread emails in my inbox when I left work yesterday. But it felt good to be back and to fit back into the office chatter. I was a bit sad though to learn that my two immediate neighbours Ben and Martin would be moving into new cubicles in Jan. I shall miss the casual chats we have - I know from past experience that somehow when people aren't in the cubicle right next to you, there is a little bit more effort that one has to make.

But I am far sadder over the fact that my birthday party photos turned out badly. I have been waiting to get the photos before I blogged about my party so I could share the moments. Well I saw the photos on Tuesday and my heart ached. I actually came home and cried. Some of the photos had double images, most of them were dark but worst of all, there were just no photos at all of some people I had posed with . The most unforgivable omission of all to me was the group photo I had taken with my 7 sisters. That was a really important moment for me and the photographer just didn't manage to get it.

I don't know what it is with me and photos but I just love them. My home is full of photo albums and I just get pleasure out of looking at old photos. In fact one of my post-retirement plans was to take a course in photography and to catalogue all the photos I have. I had been really looking forward to the 50th birthday album I was going to put together. I was first disappointed when the photos taken at my family party on the 7th were botched because I had set the camera for nightime and my daughters had not realised that when they snapped the photos. As a result most of the photos were shaky. I was sad then but I knew the fault was as much mine, as I should have warned my girls about it. But I had higher hopes pinned on the photographer for my party as I thought he would do a good job. And I was also excited over the fact that I would have all my friends I had not met for ages and my family who lives in different parts of the globe with me that evening.

I don't know what life lesson I am supposed to learn from this disappointment. Right now I am not ready for it. But I suppose as with all things I will come to accept it and move on. And Saro - thanks for the long call to commiserate with me :)