Still on Weddings...
I’ve got weddings on my mind. For some reason, I am really happy when I get invited for weddings. These last few months I’ve been to the weddings of 3 ex-students (Watee, Simon & Judith), 2 children of old friends (Farasha & Zubir) and 2 children of relatives (Neethu’s daughter, Nalini, and Giri). My classmates in my TESOL class think I have a frenzied social life because since I started the class with them in Oct, I have missed 5 classes because of weddings. One very pragmatic classmate commiserated with me for getting so many wedding invites because “aiyoh so much angpow you have to give” :)
But getting invited to weddings especially that of ex-students, makes me really happy because these are people I would have known when they were 18 or 19, and to be remembered when they are drawing up their wedding guest list when they are in their 20s or 30s means they must have a teeny weeny fond memory of me. I guess it’s tied up with this nagging question that haunts me more and more these days – did my life count? Did I make at least some people’s lives better? Being invited to attend my students’ wedding is therefore something that gladdens me because (as I said before), I think a wedding really is the happiest human experience, and to be wanted as a guest at this joyous time touches me.
Then comes the invitation to weddings of the children of old friends. This falls into a different category altogether. These invitations bring happiness because it is a sign of a rite of passage that has been reached in our lives. Usually I just feel awed – that the child I knew has grown and matured and is starting a life of his own. And it is a wonderful time to catch up with friends and to talk about old times. So I had a great time at Farasha’s and Zubir’s weddings – laughing over how we first found out that Lati (now the mother of the groom) was dating because 3 of us who had gone to watch a Tamil movie after class happened to sit just behind Lati and Osman in the theatre. Oh gosh – ages ago – and the movie was ‘Annakilli’! And Zubir’s birth was a big event for us because Lati was the first among the gang at NIE to have a baby!
The weddings of close relatives is fun in a different sort of way. This is of course not the same as being invited by relatives just because your name is on an obligatory list. But the weddings of relatives you love and whose weddings you just can’t imagine not being a part of. But I think back now and you know what, I only attended the weddings of 2 of my nieces and nephews - Maya’s and Balan’s. Amazing – 14 nieces and nephews have gotten married and I only made it to 2. You would have thought I would have attended more! But I guess it is because the weddings have largely been in India (except Vijay’s in Taiwan) and not during school holidays, so there it is! The weddings I don’t like to attend are the obligatory ones but I must say that I seem to have dropped off the list of those. Maybe I didn’t make my presence felt socially :) but whatever the reason, I am glad I haven’t had to attend one of these in a long, long time.
But coming back to Pastor Rennis’ sermon – talking of the wedding as the happiest human experience Rennis said, no wonder then that God chose a wedding as a metaphor to describe the relationship between Him and us – of Christ as the Heavenly Bridegroom and the Church as His Bride. And you know what, I dearly, dearly hope, when I go home, and I look at the face of the Bridegroom, He will be beaming.
But getting invited to weddings especially that of ex-students, makes me really happy because these are people I would have known when they were 18 or 19, and to be remembered when they are drawing up their wedding guest list when they are in their 20s or 30s means they must have a teeny weeny fond memory of me. I guess it’s tied up with this nagging question that haunts me more and more these days – did my life count? Did I make at least some people’s lives better? Being invited to attend my students’ wedding is therefore something that gladdens me because (as I said before), I think a wedding really is the happiest human experience, and to be wanted as a guest at this joyous time touches me.
Then comes the invitation to weddings of the children of old friends. This falls into a different category altogether. These invitations bring happiness because it is a sign of a rite of passage that has been reached in our lives. Usually I just feel awed – that the child I knew has grown and matured and is starting a life of his own. And it is a wonderful time to catch up with friends and to talk about old times. So I had a great time at Farasha’s and Zubir’s weddings – laughing over how we first found out that Lati (now the mother of the groom) was dating because 3 of us who had gone to watch a Tamil movie after class happened to sit just behind Lati and Osman in the theatre. Oh gosh – ages ago – and the movie was ‘Annakilli’! And Zubir’s birth was a big event for us because Lati was the first among the gang at NIE to have a baby!
The weddings of close relatives is fun in a different sort of way. This is of course not the same as being invited by relatives just because your name is on an obligatory list. But the weddings of relatives you love and whose weddings you just can’t imagine not being a part of. But I think back now and you know what, I only attended the weddings of 2 of my nieces and nephews - Maya’s and Balan’s. Amazing – 14 nieces and nephews have gotten married and I only made it to 2. You would have thought I would have attended more! But I guess it is because the weddings have largely been in India (except Vijay’s in Taiwan) and not during school holidays, so there it is! The weddings I don’t like to attend are the obligatory ones but I must say that I seem to have dropped off the list of those. Maybe I didn’t make my presence felt socially :) but whatever the reason, I am glad I haven’t had to attend one of these in a long, long time.
But coming back to Pastor Rennis’ sermon – talking of the wedding as the happiest human experience Rennis said, no wonder then that God chose a wedding as a metaphor to describe the relationship between Him and us – of Christ as the Heavenly Bridegroom and the Church as His Bride. And you know what, I dearly, dearly hope, when I go home, and I look at the face of the Bridegroom, He will be beaming.
9 comments:
ohhh that is just beautiful. i love you amma!
Gow just curious...why do your posts now sometimes have the letter J interspersed with the blog?
Ha ha - yah I know. I was quite perplexed too. Then I realised what had happened. When I first type in Word before I post, my smileys become Js when I copy and paste into my blog. Now that I have figured that out, super-perfectionist me just HAS to go back and make them all smileys again!! No more Js!
oh i see.. I thought maybe you were writing as if you were talking to Jesus i.e J
This happens to be my favorite post in your blog. It’s been more than 5 years now. I had hoped that you would not consider the invitation a burden and an obligation. I also wondered if you would even come to the wedding. I remember writing your name on the invitation card and thinking about the conversation by the stairs behind the canteen. I don’t think you will remember that after all these years, but it had something to do with ‘what life is all about’ (without revealing more on a public forum :-) ).There was no doubt in my mind that you had to be invited. I really wanted your blessings and I think I also wanted to show you that in the end, it all worked out fine. You were the only one I invited from that period of my life and I am really glad that you came.
Dear Anonymous,
Who are you? Thanks for sharing this with me. I truly can't remember our chat at the staircase so I have no idea who you are but I'm really glad that you invited me to your wedding and that I came :) And I am glad it all worked out fine for you in the end. Hmmm.. a talk about what life is all about? Whatever made me think I had the answers???? Hope I didn't mess you up!!!:)
Let me remain anonymous please... somewhat like one of those anonymous poets you got us to read in our PC class. They always seemed more interesting.
You did not mess me up. You thought me to dream and to focus. I vividly remember that conversation by the stairs and I am glad that you don't.
... and yes you came to my wedding. You hugged me, blessed me and told him to look after me. ha ha... I do wonder what his expression was when i came out. I dont think he looked at me. :-)
oh god! that was a typo...
Obviously a student after my own heart... Goes back and looks at what she wrote and sees a typo & agonises over it. Hahaha. I have taught you well :)
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