The Wicked Witch Writes

I have just finished attending a 3-day conference and renewed a personal vow I made 5 years ago that I will not attend this particular conference again. I had gone this year thinking that maybe things would have gotten better, but have come away disappointed that there was still very little that was new. To be fair, there were a couple of good speakers, but the ho-hum outnumbered the wows.

Anyway, I had a good time with my friends who were at the conference too and for their company I am very grateful.We got into a conversation in the cab while going to Serangoon for lunch yesterday that reminded me of Jennani's famous pronouncement when she was 5 years old that reduced me to tears - that she was the princess, her father was the prince and I was the wicked witch :)

The topic of the conversation was my friends' urging that I should learn to drive. Fair enough, but then Saro said that if I knew how to drive, I could buy a car and my daughters could use it too. This was when the red light started flashing for me. And Dot added that yes, if I didn't want to buy the car for myself, I could give my daughters an interest-free loan to help them buy a car and I could drive it too. And that set me off. I was very adamant that I was not going to buy a car just so that my daughters could drive it and if my daughters wanted a car, they could jolly well buy it when they could afford it. Saro then made the fateful declaration that I, unlike her who was kind, was cruel. Ooooh... There it was again. 17 years later, and I am still a wicked witch :) Quite a number of my students would agree I am sure, but my dear daughters, lest you are also harbouring secret thoughts of how cruel I am, let me explain.

Thinking back, I admit there must have been a number of occasions when I must have seemed cruel. The one that comes to mind immediately, Jen sweetie, is the Battle of the Handphone. It was something you and your sister wanted desperately and you only got it - when? after your 'O' levels? More recently, Rubhi met Wicked Witch when I asked her to pay for half the cost of her handphone which was lost.

To tell you the absolute truth, I feel really bad doing this stuff to you. Especially asking you to bring your savings along Rubs. I felt really cruel. But my darling daughters whom I love very very much, I dearly hope I have achieved what I set out to teach - that (1) when you get something too easily, you will value neither the gift nor the giver. Waiting for something you want badly and working towards it builds character and makes you cherish what you get. More importantly - (2) every action you take in life will have a consequence and if I keep protecting you from consequences, you will never learn responsibility. And (3) your desires must match your means. Buy something when you have saved for it and can afford it. If you have to borrow to own it, you have not earned it.

Like Hamlet, I too must be cruel only to be kind... I hope I have not hurt you my darlings. And I hope you will be just as cruel with my grandchildren... :)