Making memories

I went to look at my other blog - that sad one started in the first flush of blogging and not updated in 2 years and decided to just delete it and keep all my thoughts on 1 blog. I think I just started it because I wanted to categorise my thoughts by subjects - like the control freak I am - and when I realised that the format of the blog does not allow me to do it, just decided to start another blog. But I have come to realise (a) that I don't have the time or inclination to write in 2 blogs (b) I don't have that much to say on bringing up children anyway. So I think one blog will suffice :)

So went to look at the entries there and decided that the entry on making memories was something I still believe in and want to say so I've kept that and just said sayanora to the other blog...

I think the importance of making memories influenced me as a mother more than any other thing. It was something I read - can't remember where, but I realised that I wanted my children to look back on their childhood and remember pleasurable things not painful ones.

I wanted them - when they are both 40-year olds with their own children - to talk with fondness about "remember when we...". I wanted them to tell their children, "when we were children, we had fun when ....". I didn't want my children to remember painful memories or harsh words or punishments or denials. I wanted my children to carry through their lives a feeling of being safe, being loved no-matter-what and of having mattered in their family.

I don't know if I have succeeded - it is still too early to say. I will only know if I have done right by my children when I hear what my grand-children have to say :)

So I have tried to make memories... I have tried to choose my battles, I have tried not to hurt with words, I have tried to celebrate whenever we can or should. Many times I have lost the battle between the mother I want to be and the woman that I am. But children are loving and far more forgiving than we adults are capable of being and every time I have apologized (and even when I have not) my children have accepted, forgiven and moved on. And I think they will have good memories ....