To My Readers If You Exist

I have decided to limit access to this blog. It's been around for a while and I like writing it though I am not as frequent now as I used to be when I started it. Mainly that has been because I write in my journal more - where I don't have to be as circumspect as I sometimes have to be on a public platform. 

But circumstances have changed. I started this blog when first J then R went abroad and I felt I had not told them all I wanted to. I felt I needed to share who I was before they became young women of lives of their own. But my daughters' lives have changed. They now have private lives and thoughts that I do not want to be accessed through my blog.

More importantly, I have changed. I do not want to keep a blog describing just my travels and my external life. Increasingly I find myself going deeper into myself. Some days I feel I am on the outside of Vara, knowing why I said that or why I felt a spurt of sadness or why I didn't care. And I have become afraid I might become too honest and hurt someone without intending to. I'm afraid I wouldn't care because what I had felt had been true for me. And I want to be able to write without wondering what my nameless, faceless reader would think of me.

But I know there are readers I can trust; readers who know me as I want to be known and love  me anyway. So, if you read this blog, and you think you might still want to come by now and then, don't be hurt or surprised if you find the blog closed. Just let me know and I will give you access willingly. I will lock my blog on 30 Sept 2012.