Words To Ponder

"Though we travel the world over to find the beautiful, we must carry it with us or we find it not."
~Ralph Waldo Emerson

Satisfying Our Young

I left work early today with Dot & Chitra to join a 3.5 km walk organised in conjunction with the official opening of the Civil Service Club in Bukit Batok. It was a nice gesture by the PMO to release those who wanted to walk - part of the overall thrust towards getting the civil servants to be healthy & maintain a healthy work-life balance I suppose.

Anyway, we got to talking during the walk about the most recent incident of a lawyer who seemed to have become so enamoured with alternative religious interpretations that he was prepared to throw away his career to join freedom fighters. What was interesting (and worrying) about it is that he does not fit the usual profile (or what we have come to think is the usual profile) of disenchanted, marginalised or poor young people who get enticed by the call of movements that promise liberation or a better life. Instead, this is a young man who has enjoyed the best that modern socity could offer - educated in premier schools, a skilled debator & orator, a lawyer in one of the top law firms here. Every thing we know about him screams that he must be an extremely intelligent young man well-versed in reasoning. Not some impressionable, passionate adolescent shaking his fist at an unjust world. What could have caused him to choose the path he did?

That got me thinking, of what religion had to offer the young minds of today? More specifically, what does Christianity have to offer the young people today? The young today are more widely read, have access to information, fads, lifestyles that were unimaginable during their parents' times. And the more intelligent they become, the more they question. The more they demand. And this is not necessarily bad. In fact as an educator, I am proud that many of our young minds today think far more deeply and engage in far more rigorous debates than I did when I was their age. And that is as it should be. We have encouraged precisely these habits of mind, this desire to inquire and we should not seek to quench it now.

What we do need to watch for is when young Christians seek and do not find answers in our churches. The Bible is clear on this - "Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind and with all your strength.' (Mark 12:28-30) God created us as reasoning beings and He challenges us to use it to understand Him and love Him. And this was the first attraction of Christianity for me - that there was intellectual satisfaction in engaging with the Bible. I first read the Book as a literary work and tutored a class in NUS on Comparative Literature, dealing with the themes and imagery of books in the Bible. I just loved the way the analysis hung together. And even now I get a lot of satisfaction in studying the Word, asking questions, attending workshops, listening to sermons - there is just such a wealth of wisdom in the Book and it has taken many men a lifetime of work just to analyse it.

So the young people who question and thirst to know more must be encouraged, challenged to go deeper, encouraged to question & answered - within our churches. That is vital. Because if the young cannot find answers to their intellectual curiousity within the Church, there are many other alternative ideas waiting within their reach to fill this intellectual void. That, to me, is a big challenge today. We need to have thinkers, philosophers, scientists, social historians who have tasted and tested the Lord and know He is good and faithful and immeasureably able to stand any scrutiny, stand on any witness stand - the unshakeable Rock.

Attending a talk by LT Jeyachandran of the Ravi Zacharias Ministry last week, I felt awed to be in the presence of such a brilliant mind. I felt challenged to re-examine what I believe, why I believe and who I believe. I think that is a crucial journey any Christian must make - especially the young. I was touched by LT's humility and I know such humility can only be seen in such an intelligent man when he has walked with God and seen His hand in his life.And after my discussion today, I feel really thankful that God has raised such thinkers for kingdom work. And I pray that we will be ready to respond with compassion, humility and a razor sharp mind to the young inquirers in our churches. Lest we lose them.

Words to Ponder

“People travel to wonder at the height of mountains, at the huge waves of the sea, at the long courses of rivers, at the vast compass of the ocean, at the circular motion of the stars; and they pass by themselves without wondering.”

~ St Augustine

Something I Struggle With

One aspect of my character that I struggle with is my tendency to judge people too quickly. Before I became a Christian, I was not troubled by this and in fact took pride in what I thought was my ability to judge others' character well. Sometimes, even before I knew a person I would form an opinion of that person and would not hesistate to even share what I thought of him or her.

But since accepting Christ, God has been slowly and surely prodding me to change. By the grace of God I think I have become less judgemental and more accepting of people over the long years, but every now and then I am reminded by God again that I have a long way to go before I can develop anything even close to the loving, compassionate, embracing grace of Christ. Just recently, I was reminded that I had been too quick to label a brother in Christ without taking time to understand his needs. And today, the Bible reading during my quiet time reminded me yet again that the voice of judgement in me is something I must quell.

So I have been wondering - how do I use this aspect of my character for God's glory? I don't really have an answer yet.

Because I think the reverse side of this quickness to find fault is an ability to analyse the possible pitfalls in situations. At work, this critical voice has served me many times in making me think of possible things that could go wrong and to plan for alternatives. And when I look at my MBTI analysis, there is no surprise for me at all that I am an ISTJ - the J of course standing for 'Judging' :) If this is who I am, then of course God who made me knows this about me. He has made me in this unique image and I believe that if I would only let Him, he would fashion me to use me for His Glory. When I say with my lips that God is the Potter and I am the Clay, do I believe it with my heart? Am I willing to let Him fashion me according to His will?

Jesus said "Do people pick grapes from thornbushes or figs from thistles? Likewise, every good tree bears good fruit, but a bad tree bears bad fruit. A good tree cannot bear bad fruit, and a bad tree cannot bear good fruit." (Matt 7:16 - 18). I am a good tree only if I bear good fruit. My walk must match my talk. I cannot say I am a Child of God when I don't treat people like He treats them - with compassion, love, grace.

And how does God treat those whom He is going to judge? This is what I read today:

"God's kingdom is like a farmer who planted good seed in his field. That night, while his hired men were asleep, his enemy sowed weeds all through the wheat and slipped away before dawn. When the first green shoots appeared and the grain began to form, the weeds showed up, too. The farmhands came to the farmer and said, 'Master, that was clean seed you planted, wasn't it? Where did these weeds come from?' "He answered, 'Some enemy did this.' "The farmhands asked, 'Should we pull out the weeds?' "He said, 'No, if you pull out the weeds, you'll pull up the wheat, too. Let them grow together until harvest time. Then I'll instruct the harvesters to pull up the weeds and tie them in bundles for the fire, then gather the wheat and put it in the barn."(Matthew 13:24-30)

The farmer's refusal to allow his farmhands to separate the wheat from the weeds while they are still growing is a warning - don't try to anticipate the final judgment of God by human judgement. Don't rush in eager to point out what you think is wrong in the people around you. In its present stage, the kingdom of God consists of the good and the bad. There are people who are doing the right thing and those who have failed. But it is not for ME to judge. Only God is the Perfect Judge. Only He knows what anyone is like, what makes them do what they do. God alone has the power and the right to judge. All I am called to do is to be humble, for God knows me and my weaknesses better than I know myself; patient, because God's time is not my time; forgiving, because God has so much to forgive me for; and loving, just because despite all my messed-up ways, I know, God loves me ever so much. And He loves that person I am mentally judging just as much.

Our Bali Holiday

We are back from Bali! We spent a wonderful 5 days, living in a villa. Really great time for me because I didn't have to do a thing! We had a house-boy, a cook and a driver at our beck & call. Every morning Dewa - the house-boy (well, he is actually a grown man:) - would ask us what we wanted to eat for the day and then he and the cook, Nyoman would go and buy the ingredients and cook the food. The meals were delicious and served right at the time we asked for it. We also had a gem of a driver, Wayan, to whom we would give the day's itinerary and then he made sure we saw all that we wanted to see.

On the first day I went crazy and packed the day with so many places to go to that we were all exhausted at the end of the day! Yet Wayan didn't say a word when I suggested an equally crazy itinerary the following day! Thank God I remembered that the reason we were staying in a villa and in Bali on a package tour was because I wanted to relax and spend time with my family. All we had done on the first day was sleep in the car while we went from point X to point Y to point Z. So, we abandoned my to-see list and just lazing in the villa became top priority!

Here's what we did in Bali:

Day 1: Mon 4 Jun

• Mad day of driving around. We went to the artisan villages of Celuk (silver craft), Mas (wood carving) and Batuan where we visited a beautiful art gallery that was set up in an actual Balinese house compound.
  

• We also drove up to a beautiful scenic place called Kintamani from which we had spectacular views of an active volcano, Gunung Batur and the lake beside it, Lake Batur. The only thing that marred this experience was the lousy and expensive lunch we ate at the restaurant at the top of Kintamani. The restaurant had a lovely view but we didn't realise how esxorbitant the cost of the buffet was because we had not mastered the art of currency conversion yet. We ended up paying about S$90.00 for a buffet lunch that was no way even near the delicious meals our villa cooks served us. We also learnt to our horror that the tax in Bali was 21%. Yikes! Here are pics from Kintamani.

• We also stopped enroute at a spot called Tegalalang for a spectacular view of terraced ricefields and at a small agro-farm at Sri Batu where we were offered samples of all their produce such as coffee, cocoa & tea as well as fruits such as mangosteens & passion fruit.
  
  

• We also went to Tampaksiring to view an old temple built around a spring that the Balinese believe has healing powers. It is called Thirtha Empul and when we visited there were some prayers going on. People filled bottles with the holy water and took it back with them. The priest also sprinkled the water on those who were worshipping.In all the temples we went to, we were asked to tie a yellow sash around our waists & women in shorts (like me) had to wear a sarong that was provided by the temple.

• We then went to another temple called Goa Gajah (the Elephant Cave) which was built in the 11th century. This temple too was built around a spring and they had erected 6 statues from which the spring water flowed, naming the statues after rivers in India
  
  
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• By now, of course, we were exhausted and the drive back to the villa in the evening was a quiet one with all of us sleeping in the car. :)
  

Day 2: Tues 5 Jun

• We spent the morning just enjoying the villa and planned a half day tour today to recover from yesterday.
  

• Then tragedy struck. My camera battery went flat! I had charged the battery before we left and assumed that it would last 4 days and hadn't brought the charger with me. So there we were, in the middle of our holiday, with no camera. Wayan then took us to Kuta to look for a digital photo shop that could help and I ended up paying S$60 for a multi-card charger and plug which looked like it would have cost S$4 in Mustapha as well as a disposable camera since the battery would take a few hours to charge :( Oh well.


• In the afternoon, we went to Ubud which is a small artists' village & then to Uluwatu which is a beautiful temple set on top of a cliff. We had left Ubud too late so Wayan really raced to get us to Uluwatu before sunset. We made it in time but it was a cloudy evening and the sunset wasn't spectacular but we had a good time. We watched the famous Kecak dance which was really a dance drama based on the story of Ramayana. No photos sorry - I have to see how the disposable camera photos turn out.

Day 3: Wed 6 Jun

• Another morning spent relaxing at the villa before going to Mengwi to look at Taman Ayun, which was the royal temple. Tourists are not allowed into the temple but the temple grounds are beautiful. The whole temple is surrounded by a lotus pond.
  

• From Mengwi we went back to the villa for a rest as by this time I had developed a sore throat :( Nevertheless, we drove out first to Kuta Beach and then to Tanah Lot, which is another temple set by the sea. It was indeed a beautiful location but unfortunately my camera battery died again, and I could not take pictures. I was really disappointed as this was a picturesque place and one of the places I had been really keen to see.

Day 4: Thur 7 Jun

• This was our last day in Bali. Wayan drove us to a nearby beach but it started to rain so we had to come back to the villa. We spent the rest of the morning at the pool and reading on the 'bale' until it was time to say goodbye to the lovely staff and the villa.

Words to Ponder

"It is easier to build strong children than repair broken men."
- Frederick Douglass

TESOL is Over!!!

Oh jubilations! My Saturday afternoons are mine again! Nap time!! Oh how I have missed my afternoon naps :) I must admit that though I was eager when I started the TESOL classes, going every Saturday afternoon became rather tedious after a while and I was waiting to graduate. But strangely, there is also a part of me that misses the Sat afternoon classes especially the fun we had. No matter what, there is a freedom that comes from being a student that you never experience in any other aspect of life. And I must say that Sauda, our teacher, was a gem. She is so very patient and has a lovely sense of humour. And oh I will miss Colin and Aileen - the 2 who began the class with me.

It has been a long course - we started in Oct 2006, and of the 6 who began this course, only 3 of us have stuck with it. Along the way we were joined by others for single modules and that way we have met a number of people, but it's been the 3 of us to the end :) So we had 2 practical lessons - one a mock for peer-critique and a final practical exam. And now we wait for the results - to be expected in 8 to 10 weeks' time. One part of me wants to take a break and chill - will probably do that while Jen is here anyway. Another part of me is already thinking - hmmm.. what next? A number of options really - maybe I will learn to drive, maybe I will do a Bible Study course or maybe I will sign up with the Samaritans of Singapore to man the suicide hotline. I do, however, have another course starting on 24 May - this is work-related and it is called 'Teaching for Understanding'. It is an online course conducted by Harvard Uni so maybe I should just lay off other courses and focus on that. Let's see.

Anyway, here are photos of the people I have hung out with for the past 5 months of Saturday afternoons! I kinda miss them.

Mothers' Day Celebration

A rather late update but significant, nevertheless. We had a Mothers' Day celebration with a difference this year. During a casual conversation we discovered that D's aunt did not know her birthday as it had not been recorded anywhere. Instead her identity card says 1 Jan 1929. How strange is that! So my sisters-in-law and I decided that we should celebrate her birthday on Mothers' Day instead. There was some discussion as to whether we should wait till 2009 so that it could be her 80th birthday as well but we decided to go ahead with it this year, and we are all glad we did. So we did a pot-luck at her place and here are the photos with all the women folk gathered!

Trusting God

Just want to share with you a commentary I read that made me think deeply about my relationship with God.

“On another Sabbath Jesus went into the synagogue and was teaching, and a man was there whose right hand was shriveled. The Pharisees and the teachers of the law were looking for a reason to accuse Jesus, so they watched him closely to see if he would heal on the Sabbath. But Jesus knew what they were thinking and said to the man with the shriveled hand, "Get up and stand in front of everyone." So he got up and stood there. Then Jesus said to them, "I ask you, which is lawful on the Sabbath: to do good or to do evil, to save life or to destroy it?" He looked around at them all, and then said to the man, "Stretch out your hand." He did so, and his hand was completely restored. But the Pharisees were furious and began to discuss with one another what they might do to Jesus.”
Luke 6:6-13

Let’s look closely at the man with the shrivelled hand. This was a deformity, something to be ashamed about. Maybe he kept it hidden in his cloak. Maybe he kept his hand behind his back. But it would have been something he was ashamed of. How did he feel about his hand? Was he angry with God and ask, “Why me?” Was he bitter? We don’t know. But we can guess something about this man’s walk with God from the fact that he was in the temple on Sabbath Day. At the right place, doing the right thing to honour the God he believed.

Then imagine this. Jesus stops teaching and looks around. He looks at this man with the shrivelled hand and says “Get up and stand in front of everyone.” Oh, the embarrassment of this! Imagine – it is Sabbath, the synagogue is full and the Teacher asks you to stand up in front of everyone. Every eye is on you. How vulnerable the man must have felt. Then, something ‘worse’ happens. Jesus says “Stretch out your hand.” In full view of the whole synagogue. For everyone to see! That hand that he had probably kept hidden, that hand that was his source of sadness and anger and shame. Yet he obeyed and stretched that withered hand out for everyone to look at.

Then the miracle happens. His withered, shrivelled hand is restored! Made whole again! Healed! That which caused him shame now healed in front of everyone and God’s glory revealed! The joy of that moment for this man – can words describe it?

And what did it mean to me? It made me ask myself – what is my withered hand? What shame, guilt, sorrow, weakness am I keeping hidden? What am I being bitter, angry or sad about? And is my heart right with God despite it? God is asking me to trust Him. To stand up, ignore all other eyes, keep my eye only on Him and say “Here, Lord, this is my weakness. This is my shame. This is my worry, my burden.” God is asking me to trust Him with my vulnerability. To trust Him with my pain. To trust Him with my sadness and guilt. And He will heal gloriously. He will reveal His power in my weakness. Our God is awesome.

This & That Last Week

My exam for my last module of TESOL is tomorrow - the last written module, that is. Then I have to teach a class and I will be done! Finally! It has been a long 6 months and I must admit that I lost interest halfway through Module 2 but thoroughly enjoyed Module 3 so that kept me motivated for a while but Module 4 has been a drag as we spent a lot of time drafting lesson plans. The course has been ok, I guess, except that I think it was too exam-focused. We were told what we would be tested on and then taught what we needed to know for the exam. I know a lot of students would love it, but I was looking for something more. I did the course out of interest, not for a piece of paper and I would have enjoyed more discussion and exploration of language issues.Well, anyway, the course is almost over and as you can see, I am blogging while I should be studying... a bad habit picked up from my daughters :)

I have had a pretty good week, though a really busy one. I suppose that was because I was in office for only 3 days and all the work of the week got squeezed into those 3 days. I took Monday off to give myself some 'me time' as Tues was a public holiday. It was a good long weekend. I had planned to do some studying, but no I didn't. On Saturday we went to watch a movie - 'Wild Hogs' - because we needed to use movie vouchers that were going to expire. It was funny at parts but quite ho-hum. On Sunday, Rubhi and I went to watch The Phantom of the Opera. That was wonderful! This was the second time I had watched it and it was still spell-binding. The special effects were really awesome - my favourite is the 'river' that flows into the Phantom's hideout and of course I always feel so sorry for him....

Had a nice lie-in on Monday and then got a surprise lunch invite from Wai Yin who had come to MOE for a meeting. I get to see her so rarely that her call was a lovely surprise. We went to look at her house which is being renovated and oh my goodness, it is going to look really lovely. Then we went to Da Paulo's for lunch. Lovely Italian food... mmmm :) Tried vary hard not to gorge - actually had only a salad, but oh the bruschettas....

Then I had a lovely 2 hours at the spa with a scrub and a massge before going for dinner with my sisters in law. Two of them had finished courses they were doing so it was a celebration of some sort, plus I guess we hadn't met in a while. I think we chatted more during post-dinner coffee than during dinner itself. We went to a restaurant called Moghul Mahal, but I wasn't impressed with the service. I felt rushed and was quite upset at the way they started clearing away our plates, making it impossible for us to linger. I would have understood if the restaurant was full, but there weren't that many diners there. Anyway we went down to the Starbucks for a chat before going home.A nice evening catching up with each others' lives. We took a photo but the light was bad and the waitress didn't do too good a job with the camera so nothing to post.

So back to work on Wednesday and here we are on a Friday evening already. Oh, I received an interesting letter today from the National Council of Collegiate Scholars - I have NO IDEA who they are. But apparently I am to be congratulated for the part I have played in Jen's success because she has been nominated to be a member of this Council for being within the top 20% of her cohort. So hey - congratulations, darling. Yet again you have made me proud :) I am still a wee bit suspicious though, because the letter is full of American enthusiasm and sounds a bit like the letters that Readers' Digest sends out promising millions in their sweepstakes. Please tell me this is genuine and indeed something to be excited about, because I am thrilled about it :)