Hold On
I need to re-create myself. A different me for a different season. I've heard this same message said in different ways by different people. Take up a hobby. Learn to bake. Learn to play the piano. Learn to draw. Travel more. Get a pet. Start a project. Volunteer. Be a foster mum. Write a book. Make new friends. Join an exercise class. Give tuition. Read. Watch DVDs.
There - I think I've listed all that I've been told to do.
I know buried in that list is the concern of my friends. Concern from years of friendship and honesty. From knowing there was a happier me. What is lacking is will. Mine.
I re-read an old favorite poem this afternoon because I had the vague memory of a stanza:
"If you can force your heart and nerve and sinew
To serve your turn long after they are gone,
And so hold on when there is nothing in you
Except the Will which says to them: "Hold on!"…
I first read that poem in 1978. I was a trainee teacher and in charge of the Drama Club. The tutor overseeing the Drama Club wrote the first lines of that poem in a card to me after we had successfully organized a Drama Nite, saying this was my strength - "you can keep your head when all about you / Are losing theirs and blaming it on you..". I was intrigued enough to go to the library to look for the rest of the poem.
I think it is possible to keep your head so strong that people forget you can lose it too. I think it is possible to do your job every day every month every year so well, people don't give you permission to mess up. That it is possible to hold on for so long that people think you just need something else to hold on to. You can. If.
I re-read an old favorite poem this afternoon because I had the vague memory of a stanza:
"If you can force your heart and nerve and sinew
To serve your turn long after they are gone,
And so hold on when there is nothing in you
Except the Will which says to them: "Hold on!"…
I first read that poem in 1978. I was a trainee teacher and in charge of the Drama Club. The tutor overseeing the Drama Club wrote the first lines of that poem in a card to me after we had successfully organized a Drama Nite, saying this was my strength - "you can keep your head when all about you / Are losing theirs and blaming it on you..". I was intrigued enough to go to the library to look for the rest of the poem.
I think it is possible to keep your head so strong that people forget you can lose it too. I think it is possible to do your job every day every month every year so well, people don't give you permission to mess up. That it is possible to hold on for so long that people think you just need something else to hold on to. You can. If.
2 comments:
Hi vara, like some of your readers I too stumbled upon your blog. From the year 2005 when you started to write for your daughter’s I could feel the unconditional mothers love .
“A mother’s love for her child is like nothing else is the world. It knows no law, no pity, it dares all things and crushes down remorselessly all that stands its path.”
How I wish I had a mother like you who could have guided me through my growing years.
As I read through the years I could feel the love and trust you have in Christ. How deep is your thoughts about him and relate him in every step of your life journey . You are so blessed with so many wonderful friends who came to you as angles to listen and share your joy and pain.
“The golden moments in the stream of life rush past us and we see nothing but sand; the angels come to visit us, and we only know them when they are gone. ~George Elliot
You gave me so much of joy, strength , motivation, independence and happiness and faith in your words.
As year 2012 onwards I could feel so much of pain in your words.
“Without communication, there is no relationship. Without respect, there is no love. Without trust, there is no reason to continue.” “The greatest thing a father can do for his daughters is to show unconditional love to their mother.“ You deserve to be loved.
The words about your dad.
“The reason why Daughters love the dad’s the most is.. That there is at least one man In the World Who will never hurt her…”
Felt very sad that it had to end this way. “God allows all things to happen for a valid reasons. Some will be revealed to us, some won’t. We need not to seek nor understand those reasons, but to have faith in his wisdom.”
This kind soul will always be in my prayers. Hope you will continue writing.
Dear Julie,
Thank you for encouraging me. Your comment was unexpected and all the sweeter because of it. I have been thinking about my blog a great deal this past month. Wondering if I should delete it? make it private? continue writing? Your comment is a God-sent answer to me. I need to write again. Thank you for taking the time to write to me. Your comment made my day :)
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