I Shouldn't Have Stopped @ 2

Suddenly it is the end of Feb and it's time for R to leave. Makes me sad. 

It's a pity that just when I can enjoy their company as friends and adults, and don't have to yell or threaten to spank, my girls actually have one, if not both, feet out of the door :) J & R think I'm not ready to let go of them and let them be adults. I think I can't let go of the Mother in me. I think I was made to be one of those women who would have enjoyed a large family. At one level, I understand Angelina Jolie and Octomum, yes I do. 

Frustrating and tiring though it was when the children are young, there comes a time when our own adult lives slow down; and that's when we have time to really look at our children. Fortunately, I don't think I have made many mistakes - though my daughters take great delight in claiming to be psychologically scarred by my erratic parenting. 

In my ideal life, I would have had 4 children (err... and 2 live-in nannies).  My girls amuse themselves with trying out different names their 'siblings' might have been given to rhyme with theirs. [Thankfully, I never did have a boy - whom I would have blithely named Bharani, in the days before Google - because the girls and I discovered the other night that (a) contrary to what I believed, this is a girl's name, not a boy's and (b) this is actually the name of the astrological star of the Hindu god Yama, the god of death! J & R couldn't stop laughing :)] So, if I had had 4 children, I still would have 2 of them underfoot. That would help ease the transition, I think, for when the last of the 4 is ready to leave as well, I might have grandchildren ready to walk in! 

See - in the grand scheme of the universe it would have all worked out! Darn.