To My Friend Who Hurts For Me

Dear friend who asked me why I forgive and how I carry on - I can't explain. Maybe you will hear the answer here... Thank you for calling. Thank you for caring. I owe you.

JI Mamis in Melaka

I had a great weekend! Together with 3 of my friends, I went to Melaka, which is a town in Malaysia, about a 3 hour drive away. It was a departure from the usual because instead of Rita who usually drives us, this time it was Shamala at the wheel. 

Yay! You did it Sham!

I love the company of these friends. We have known each other for close to 20 years and what I appreciate the most is the honesty of our friendship. We don't cover up our struggles and we know each other's quirks and personalities. We know we aren't perfect and we don't pretend to be.

Checking in to Casa Del Rio

Melaka was a great deal more interesting than I had expected. I don't know if it is a deliberate tourism strategy, but there was a distinct emphasis on nostalgia and a celebration of a past way of life that fascinated me. 

The Library at the hotel - dark wood shelves, heavy damask chairs, tea & coffee and lots of books!

Our hotel was easily the most luxurious I have ever stayed in! Good thing the cost was shared by the 4 of us :)

Courtyard of Casa Del Rio

Pavilions @ Casa Del Rio

 I absolutely loved the hotel :) The service was excellent and we had an awesome rain shower in the toilet. I could have stood under it for a long long time. The hotel had a quirkiness that I had not seen in Malaysian hotels before... From the 555 books in the rooms instead of the usual hotel stationery...

These are the notebooks my dad used to give me to keep accounts of my spending in!

to the subtle way in which the hotel suggested we shouldn't steal stuff from the room...

and the request to please not steal their towels :)

Our hotel was close to the Melaka town centre and I enjoyed the old feel of the Dutch architecture which has thankfully been retained.

At Melaka town centre

 Mani and I climbed up to the ruins of St Paul's Church where the remains of Francis Xavier are supposed to be buried. It's  a derelict building now but still has a quiet charm.

St Paul's Church

We were also close to Jonkers Walk which was the main heritage / tourist area and walking along this street was a trip down nostalgia lane for me! 

Jonkers Walk decorated to welcome the Year of the Dragon.

The "tok-tok man"! This is a hard malt candy that the vendor breaks up with a tiny hammer & spatula. Makes a distinctive "tok tok" sound :)

Eating 'chendol' by the river at a roadside stall

Ice batu! This is basically an ice lolly made with traditional flavours and eaten by pushing it out of a plastic bag :)

If not for the astronomic prices, I would say time has stood still in Melaka. My laments that I used to buy the ice batu for 10 cents instead of the dollar I was charged was met with a polite smile by the young girl manning the stall. I'm sure I wasn't the first one to say it to her. The 'tok tok' man was too deaf (or pretended to be) to respond to my shock at being asked to pay 5 dollars for what I used to pay 50 cents for. Ah well.

It was a good trip. And the JI Mamis are the best people to have made the trip with. I'm sure my daughters would have rolled their eyes and refused to eat the roadside chendol or the ice batu and asked when we could go back to the hotel :)

The Old and the New

In the 2 months I have been at my new job, I have heard a phrase repated many times, that I never once heard in my old office - the phrase, "when we have reached our age..." :) The phrase is a frequent preface to any number of observations from the many aches that are felt, the types of food that agree and do not sgree with us, the way we respond to work challenges to snippets of family life that are shared...

I realise that for the first time in my career, I am working with colleagues who are the same age or older than me. And I am puzzled why I find it a strange experience. One would expect, wouldn't one, that your colleagues would be of the same age as you? Why, I wonder, have I always worked with people younger than me? And I realised this last year - that I have only 1 friend who is a year older than me. Most of my close friends are really at least 5 to 10 years younger than me!

I am learning a different way of relating at work now. I curb my tongue lest my jokes are too cutting, I ask for advice and take care not to proffer opinions too quickly, I say my share of "at my age" :) I miss the easy camarederie of my younger colleagues in my old workplace; I miss gathering at the centre table for coffee and gossip; I miss crowding around computers to view the latest Kate Spade sale pieces. I expect I will be making new memories at my new workplace too. I know this is a transition phase and I will soon settle in. But we are moving to new premises on Tuesday and I for one am loath to leave.

It Takes a Village

I read today about a book called The Council of Dads by Bruce Feiler. It is about a young dad who is diagnosed with cancer and decides to rope in 6 of his friends to be 'dads' to his daughters in his absence. The concept touched me.

I have often felt parenting is a tough job and especially hard to do alone. Yet, it is very difficult to find like-minded people who share your values, philosophy and faith whom you can trust to help you with this important job. It also takes a special breed of friends who would agree to look out for your children as well as their own. This is especially so in Singapore where many parents struggle to make time for their own children and balance the demands of career and family.

Yet, I am convinced of the wisdom of having a council of dads or a council of mums. There is an African proverb that says 'It takes a village to raise a child' and I tend to agree. Parenting is often a case of trial and error. You have never done this job before, you try to equip yourself for it by reading, talking to friends etc, but there will always be moments when you catch your breath and wonder - did I do that right? I would have liked to have had a village at these times.

I thought about the concept of a council of dads / mums for a while. But I came to the conclusion that Feiler was really very, very blessed to have 6 friends who readily accepted the responsibility he offered them and stepped up. I can only think of one - and a very, very busy one at that! It speaks first of all of the depth of his friendships. These are friendships cultivated over a long time and at a meaningful level. There must have been time and love invested in building up such friendships and I wonder whether in busy Singapore, there are men and women who value this and are able to do this. It also requires giving of oneself (on the part of the friends) and asking for help (on the part of Feiler) - both gestures of humility that I think are possible for many of us here only when the imminence of death is real.

Many times I have offered to baby-sit for young couples but I don't quite know what it is - an innate shyness, a fear of obligation, maybe a reluctance to accept a favour? - but no one has actually taken me up on the offer :) Maybe they just don't trust me :) With my family, I have tried to be involved in the lives of my nieces and nephews, and their children, but to varying degrees of success. Mostly my young grand-nephews and nieces live too far away for us to connect meaningfully. It is sad, but I also realise that only 1 of my sisters has the opportunity to see her grand-children daily as almost all of my nieces and nephews live abroad and one sister is even estranged from her sons.

So, I wonder what the future holds for me. Right now it looks like I might be doing long-distance grand-parenting too :)

My 53rd...

Every year I gain 2 kgs in the week of my birthday. This year has not proved to be an exception :) My fondness for chocolate has become too much of a common knowledge and so yes, there has been an abundance of chocolate, chocolate cake and chocolate ice cream...

The best cake award of this year goes to the yummilicious cake bought by my CYAN cell group - a creation called Grand Cru Royale by Centre-ps which is a cakeshop in Tiong Bahru. They have an irritatingly slow website so I am not linking, but the cake was superb. It had a hazelnut praline crunch base and a chocolate mousse top and was absolutely delicious :) Thus began my eating odyssey on Wednesday, 4 days before my birthday...



On Friday, 5th Nov, which was also Deepavali Day, Johnson, Yvonne and Freya took me out for dinner at chili's. I have been wanting to try this restaurant for a while but just didn't get around to so I enjoyed the experience quite a bit. Dear Yvonne arranged for a surprise song from the restaurant staff and I got a birthday balloon too :)

And flowers, and books and a fridge magnet :)

On the eve of my birthday, I went on a day spa trip to Batam with my sister, J and Kelsey. It was a quaint place called Tempat Senang and we booked in for a 3 hour spa session. It felt like a mini holiday, boarding the ferry and getting picked up and driven to the spa. The spa owner had arranged for a birthday cake for me but it was delivered in such an awkward manner that it was laughable rather than a touching gesture!

I was quite disappointed by our reception because no one seemed to notice we had arrived. Then a lady came and asked us to choose our treatments and while we were looking at the spa menu, the chef came and said there was a cake for us. The lady was very puzzled and said she had no idea what that was about, she asked the owner who came and said vaguely, "Oh you didn't ask for a cake? Ok then" and wandered off! So we left the cake alone and went off to have lunch. During lunch, the cake made an appearance again. This time it had been cut and we were served 4 slices with a candle stuck on! Hmph! Like I said, a little more panache would have made it a thoughtful gesture instead of the awkward one it turned out to be :( That said, the masseuse was awesome!

My birthday was on the first Sunday of November so all of us with birthdays and anniversaries in November got prayed for at the E2 service. I was really glad my sister came to church with us and liked the sermon as well. Here I am with CYAN people and dear Emma and Ale (that baby is growing fast!)

I must say I had a GREAT birthday. Because J arranged for surprise visits by my friends. I must confess I messed up her plans quite a bit by refusing to have dinner and insisting on watching a movie at 7.30 pm when she had arranged a surprise dinner for me :) Poor Jen.

After church we went to Krish for tea but J wasn't done with surprises yet and I had 3 more surprise visitors for tea, bearing cake from - where else - Awfully Chocolate :) My dear friends, who shall remain unidentified and unnamed by request, I appreciate you :)

And my darling orchestrator of my birthday, thank you. I love you.

We went to watch 'It's a Wonderful After Life' in the evening and I liked the movie except for one sequence at the engagement party which was too long and too ridiculous to be funny. And ended the day at Swenson's... I should have taken the pic BEFORE we demolished the sundae instead of after it ;)

My birthday celeration did not, however, end on Sunday. My CYAN cell celebrated my birthday jointly with Emmy at Penang Kitchen on Monday night... Embarrassed me no end :)

Following this, my old friend Andy bought me lunch at Thai Express on Tuesday and I celebrated a joint birthday with my friend Fiona whose birthday is today by having brunch at Dome...

I think I'm done now... It has been a week of excesses :)

Who Tells You the Truth?

I have been thinking about this since J and I talked about it on Sunday... Should the truth be told? Why? Sounds like a GP essay topic, doesn't it? :)

I used to find it hard to tell the truth, especially when it concerned telling unpleasant truths. I also found it hard to tell the truth about how I was feeling and I admit that I have chosen to take the easier way out of situations by lying or mitigating the intensity of what I really felt. It is a hard thing to do - telling the truth - and many people (me included) cop out, because telling the truth is often hurtful.

Since our conversation, I have been paying attention to the times I have not told the truth in the past 3 days. It is not a pleasant experience, hearing a lie come out of your mouth and recognising it, saying to yourself "ok that's a lie" and then saying it anyway....!!!! I'm not going to tell you the actual number of lies I caught myself telling, but I realise that on all the occasions I caught myself lying, it was either because I cared what the other person thought of me or because I was afraid of the other person's reaction. Once I lied (this was absolutely the worst one!!!) because I did not want the other person to think I was a bad Christian (hang head in shame, yes...) and twice I lied because I was afraid of the other person's anger.

Interestingly, not wanting to hurt the other person's feelings was not high on my list as a reason. And I asked myself why. Was I such an uncaring person? Surely it would be better to lie if telling the truth meant hurting the other person?

I think there are 2 reasons to this aspect of me. One - I am a teacher. It is important to me that others learn. There is no desire or intention in me to judge the other person when I point out things. Setting wrong things right, correcting misconceptions, pointing out alternative viewpoints, suggesting a better way of doing things - this is what I think I need to do as a teacher. An occupational hazard, I suppose.

Two, I feel, if the people around me don't tell me the truth I need to hear, how will I know? Who will tell me "you are wrong" or "you sounded arrogant" or "you should apologize" or "that doesn't look good on you" or even "you have put on weight"? Only people who love me. Only people who are courageous and honest and care for me more than they fear my anger or hurt. I have such friends and for this I am truly grateful.

The bottomline is this - it takes courage and love to tell the truth. Jesus said "I am the Truth." And every time He encountered half-truths and lies, He gently persisted till the truth emerged. Go and bring your husband He said to the woman at the well; go sell your riches and follow me He said to the young man; you won't have the courage to stand with me He said to Peter. I'm sure all of them cringed or felt embarrassed or got really angry. Yet Jesus spoke the truth.

I know I have grown because many people spoke truths into my life. Many of these truths embarrassed me or made me feel defensive or angry. But I also know that each person who spoke the truth I needed to hear was used by God to grow me and growth comes through pain.

There is another aspect to this, of course. And that involves how we receive the truth. If we lash out at the person who tells us the truth, if we belittle them, if we react by turning on them and listing their faults to get even, then, my dears, you will be lied to. Who speaks the truth to you? Cherish them, for they love you much. Because, only very few people will speak the truth to you without fear or favour. May God bless you with such friends :)

Man Watching

The title startled you I know :) But I have been man-watching, yes. Not in the same way that young girls man-watch. But watching to assess, to see for myself what I value. And I realise I have changed much.

When I was younger it was physical attractiveness that caught my eye. When I was a teenager, I once said something unforgiveable. My sister had a colleague who I admired a great deal. She was tall and beautiful, she dressed well and spoke with such confidence. I was an awkward, overweight teenager and I worshipped the ground she walked on, and very smitten by the fact that she was so nice to me. She did not get married for a long time and then one day she brought her fiance to our home and introduced him to us. He was clearly much older than her, overweight and balding. I actually became really, really upset. I ran into my room and was very angry with both her and him. She came in to say goodbye and to invite me to the wedding and I blurted out at her - "He looks like a monkey. You can't marry him. He is so old and ugly." To this day, I don't quite understand what made me say that. My sister shushed me and apologised profusely but I shamefacedly remember how gracious that lady was. She brushed aside my sister's embarrassment and said to me, "One day you will understand that he is a good man." It took me a long while to grow up enough to understand her words.

Now I realise I don't look at men who are dashing. The men who make me smile today are different. I like to watch men who carry their babies; men who sit in cafes and are lost in their books; old men who hold their old wives' hands; men who pray with their wives and children; men who celebrate their women; men whose eyes laugh. Blessed are the women who have found them.

The Horror! The Horror!

I googled myself today and guess what I found? This:
"Vara" by Charles Spiteri is the AHWA 2006 short story contest winner. In the short story category, the judges felt that "Vara" displayed great strength of narrative and characterisation, and gave a fresh resonance to some classic horror themes."

AHWA by the way, is the acronym for Australian Horror Writers Association. I suspect ALL my students. I know one of them is "Charles Spiteri". But I am not above suspecting my friends either. I am the horror that stalks you by night. And day. Beware.... :)

Bonding in Bintan

I know I have been to Bintan too many times when the receptionist at the hotel recognises me and says "Welcome back ibu" :) It is true. They should offer me Frequent Visitor status.

I was back at Bintan on National Day, with old friends. I read somewhere once, that it takes a long time to grow an old friend. And that is how we got here, my friends and I. Over a long time. We all used to teach together in my beloved school, Jurong Institute, which sadly, no longer exists. I am very glad our friendship has survived beyond our workplace :) Hey, we need a name!

It was a brief (but intense) 2D1N holiday as Bintan is only an hour away by ferry. It being National Day, the ferry operator actually distributed little Singapore flags to all the children on board. The sad fact was that none of the children seemed excited about these flags they were given. Even sadder was the fact that WE got really excited when we saw the flags being distributed, but got none :)

The absolutely first thing we did was to get a massage (of course) and foot reflexology while waiting for our villa to be ready. And once again, dear Shamala proves that she is an, ahem, "technical wizard" by getting her finger into the view finder... :)

I would say we walked along the beach as after all, we were on an island...



but this is where we really wanted to get to... Yes, my friends, you KNOW this is true ;)

I would say we swam in the pool, but again, with the exception of Mini, this is all we wanted to do...

So, hey, it was a GREAT holiday. In no order of importance, the highlights of our holiday were

• fantastic, honest conversations
• great massages
• 'silky tresses' from the hair spa :)
• the end of 'teetotaller' status for one :)
• Tamil songs especially "athi thai thai thai (sic)" and ""sentamizhnattu tamizhichiye" :)
• lots of laughter
• reciting the pledge at 8.10pm :)
  
• pseudo dieting :)
• 'Sex and the City' - oh, ever mine, ever thine, ever ours... hahahaha...
• pigging out at buffet breakfast
• jacuzzi :)
  
• great conversations - oops, have I said that already? Never mind, it is worth repeating :)

I had fun. I know you did too :)

I Will Dance

Last night my 'kawan' WY took me out for dinner. She dug a lot of rubbish out of my soul. And she blessed me with this song, which is her wish for me. So, yes. When I have a choice to sit it out or dance, I will dance. One year, WY. For one year from last night, I will dance every time I get a chance.

I hope you never lose your sense of wonder
You get your fill to eat
But always keep that hunger
May you never take one single breath for granted
God forbid love ever leave you empty handed
I hope you still feel small
When you stand beside the ocean
Whenever one door closes, I hope one more opens
Promise me you'll give faith a fighting chance

And when you get the choice to sit it out or dance
I hope you dance
I hope you dance

I hope you never fear those mountains in the distance
Never settle for the path of least resistance
Living might mean taking chances
But they're worth taking
Lovin' might be a mistake
But it's worth making
Don't let some hell bent heart
Leave you bitter
When you come close to selling out
Reconsider
Give the heavens above
More than just a passing glance

And when you get the choice to sit it out or dance
I hope you dance
(Time is a real and constant motion always)
I hope you dance
(Rolling us along)
I hope you dance
(Tell me who)
I hope you dance
(Wants to look back on their youth and wonder)
(Where those years have gone)

I hope you still feel small
When you stand beside the ocean
Whenever one door closes, I hope one more opens
Promise me you'll give faith a fighting chance

And when you get the choice to sit it out or dance
Dance
I hope you dance
I hope you dance
(Time is a real and constant motion always)
I hope you dance
(Rolling us along)
I hope you dance
(Tell me who)
(Wants to look back on their youth and wonder)
I hope you dance
(Where those years have gone)

(Tell me who)
I hope you dance
(Wants to look back on their youth and wonder)
(Where those years have gone)

Back from Melbourne

Sooo... I am back! I left on 31 March for a conference in Melbourne and came back on 12 Apr so that accounts for my long silence.

It was a good trip. I actually managed to spend 12 days in Melbourne with just 2 days of vacation leave because I could take conference leave for the days of the actual conference and the Easter weekend gave me a few extra days as well. I love it!

I stayed with my nephew's family and spent time catching up with my grand nephew and grand niece. R was on Easter hols so I got to spend time with her as well. Also met up with old friends Neena and Bee. Drank many cappucinos. Met old friends Pushpa and Ganesh, sadly didn't spend as much time with their children as I would have liked. Ate many chocolates. Visited a church that met in the sports hall of a school and had the strange experience of seeing a basketball hoop every time I raised my eyes to worship. Went on a hyped up, overpriced Hangman's Tour of the Old Melbourne Gaol - do not, do not waste your money on this if you are ever in Melbourne. Also did a day trip to Mornington Peninsula with my nephew's family and wandered around a maze which made me err.... a little claustrophobic... just a little :)

The Conference was a little bit of a disappointment. The quality of presentations was uneven and it appears as if the schools were all at different levels of competency where the infusion of ITC is concerned. But it was still a learning experience and I particularly enjoyed the school visits we made as it is not easy to get to visit schools.

All things considered, I had a good time. The past month has been a trying one for me on the home front and the trip to Melbourne gave me a chance to get away and rest. The time I spent with family and friends also left me feeling loved and supported. In the end, this is what matters - the people I love and who love me back.

Where Did the Time Go?

I think it is significant that my last blog entry was on 24 Dec 2009, because since then life has been a whirlwind and I am only now beginning to feel I can catch my breath. I heard a phrase on 'Bones' last night that seems to describe it well - "time has gotten away from me..."

Anyway what has been one of the big developments in my life is that The Big M has come to stay. I chanced upon a website the other day that listed 35 symptoms of menopause! And I counted - I have 16 of them. The one that speaks to me most is Number 9: "Crashing Fatigue".... So it has been a tough few months and my daily moods have ranged from sadness to madness and all things in between. But I feel better able to cope after knowing why I feel all these random aches, pains and general misery. And I am glad you have been so understanding my daughters, because I can't imagine me being all that easy to live with these days :)

The last few weeks after Christmas have been crowded largely because we have had an assortment of guests staying with us - all friends of J + one grand-nephew. In all, we have had 5 guests on top of my 2 daughters and daily life for me has been a series of linen changes, towel changes, stocking the larder with milk and toilet paper, and eating. So I ended 2009 5kgs heavier. ("O this too too solid flesh would melt / Thaw and resolve itself into dew" to misquote Hamlet ... hahahaha). In between our days were marked by 1 emergency visit to hospital at 3am, 1 biking accident with a fractured collar bone, 2 surgeries, the tragedy of 1 terrapin's death, 1 bizarre experience of someone being hugged by a tipsy stranger, 1 ardent admirer who came a-courting to my door with a chocolate and a rose and 3 neighbours' greatly mystified by the random ang-mohs flitting in and out of my home.... Yeah, that about captures the randomness of the past weeks :) And now, all of J's friends have left except for K who will be staying with us as she is volunteering with Teen Challenge for a year.

I hardly know where Dec went and now the weeks have gone by so quickly and it is February already. I meant to do a recap of 2009 but .... sigh.... I hope I get around to it. I'm just going to post this now so that my blog doesn't languish. I hope I find time to blog again soon. I do miss it when I don't.

A Note to My Friend

My friend - you know who you are. You tell me you wish you had my life. You think I have it altogether and you have lost your grip on yours. I wish I had told you what was on my mind when you said that. But I felt then that you were hurting too much to hear it. So I am telling you here because I think you will read this.

My life is not perfect. I am not always happy. Many days I wish I had a different life. But I have come to accept this life I have been given and that I think makes the difference.

I stop myself when my mind wants to play the 'If only...' game or the 'I'll be happy when....' game. At any one moment in time, I have come to realise, I have the capacity and ability to choose - choose my reaction, my feeling, my perspective. You do too. If you keep asking "Why me?", you will continue to think you are a victim of other people's actions and circumstances. And it will not get you out of the place you are in. Life can be unfair.

There is no divine decree that says life for any one person on this world will be a fairy tale. Each one of us hopes ours will be the enchanted life, but that is a false hope that will only make the crash harder when it comes. Yes, you have been dealt a poor hand now. But please don't think I have not had hard places in my life. If you think I am at peace all the time, I assure you it is not so. But the hard places have built me up and made me stronger and when bad things happen I think back to other bad times and know I survived those and I feel peace knowing that these times too shall pass. That's why you think I am always at peace.

I will be doing you a disfavour my friend if I let you go away thinking I am just a strong woman. I am not. I belong to a strong God. I hope the next time we meet you will let me share my experience with my God with you. Then you will understand what I meant when I told you "The joy of the Lord is my strength".

If Christians were somehow miraculously protected from the evils and sorrows of the world, I am sure the whole world would have accepted Christ by now! No, we are not protected - we have, in fact, more than our share of heartache, straying spouses, divorce, deaths, rebellious children, lost jobs, financial ruin.... But we DO have a strong unchanging Rock that holds us together in the middle of our crisis.

So when you think I seem to have wisdom to make decisions, it is not me - I have a God who gives me peace in my heart when I am acting in line with His will and troubles me no end when I am doing things to please myself. That's how He guides me. When you say I am kind because I talk to people who have hurt me without anger or bitterness, it is because that is the example He set for me when He forgave those who tortured and killed Him. When you say I am always happy, my dear, you are wrong. I am not. But I do have joy, which is a very different thing, because it is not a feeling that is here with me now and then gone but an assurance that nothing will happen that is not in God's plan for my life. And if He allows it, He will take me through it.

I am saying these things here and not in an email because I thought you might be offended if I said these things to you straight. I am in a difficult place. I value you as a friend and want to just listen to you and share your sorrow, but I also know in my heart that there are things you are not ready to hear that I must say to you, precisely because you are my friend. So here it is on my blog. We can talk about it. Or we need not. You are still my friend.

My Oprah Confession

So I too, like Oprah, have "fallen off the wagon". But THANKFULLY, unlike her 19kg, I only have 3 kgs to rue. And here are the reasons for this...


Meeting up with my 95E students over pizza and KFC..

Celebrating with my CYAN cell

Ice cream at Swensen's with my 95A students...

One too many BOWALA sessions with my kakis from office...

Ben's wedding dinner...

And our office farewell lunch...

And in case Maya thinks she got away from the blame game, here it is too...

Wow. Considering all this, it is a MIRACLE It's only 3 kgs.... Hahahaha...

Talk

Wow much has happened since my last blog. Can't believe it's been 3 weeks! Got my first bout of the flu bug for this year sometime after I last blogged so I guess that's why I haven't been updating. I also went up to KL for a weekend after that as my niece M had come down from London. It was a real pleasure to be able to spend time with her again. It was an interesting weekend as we were also on a mad shopping spree in preparation for my niece V's wedding next year. I also spent a day with a very dear friend of mine and it was nice to just chill out and talk. I wish I could make a career out of this like Oprah - you know, sit with different people and ask them stuff and listen and tell your own stories and make memories...

Strange, I didn't use to be like this. I used to really dread meeting new people and I used to keep a lot of my thoughts and feelings close to myself. I don't really remember when I started telling people about me. Hmmm... come to think of it, even blogging is quite unlike me :) But I think I like this new me more. The old me was darker I think :) And last night I had a really great conversation at a wedding dinner I attended. One of my colleagues got married and I went because my old gang at the office were all leaving and I thought the dinner would be a good time for us all to meet and chat but the place turned out to be quite noisy and we were all seated at different tables, so what with one thing and another, I ended up making conversation with the couple seated next to me and wow, was it some conversation! I had never met such an interesting man before! He was a doctor who had moved to Singapore from Canada because his wife was a little homesick for Asia. And he had really great stories to tell of the times he had spent in Sabah, Hong Kong, Manila and Ottawa. It was honestly the first wedding dinner I had attended where I didn't realise how late it was! I do hope our paths cross again. I learnt so much!

Coming back to conversations - the long and short of it is - I love them. I like meeting friends and talking over coffee, I like walking with my daughters and talking, I like lying in bed with my daughters and my niece and talking, I like sitting in the youth room with my CYAN kids and talking, I like meeeting my ex-students for dinner and talking, I especially love sitting on the beach and talking. Oh, how much there is to hear! Everybody has a story. I just wish more people would tell them. Especially to me :)

Older and Rounder...

Well, the birthday did seem a little tame at first after all the excitement of last year.... But I definitely ate more this birthday than last, thanks to all those who took me out for birthday meals. And it seemed like I was celebrating my birthday over a few days as the celebrations started on the Wed before my birthday and ended on the Tues after my birthday! Here is a pictorial journey through all the meals eaten and cake indulged in....

The first was dinner with my young adults cell group from church on Wednesday, 2 days before my birthday. We went to Crystal Jade in Holland Village to eat hand-made noodles and the first of many cakes. It was a lovely chocolate cake.

And then on Thurs I had a lovely surprise - these lovely roses J and R sent me.... thank you darlings. :) Did you know they are my favourite flowers?

Then on my birthday, WY sent me this indulgent picnic hamper and flowers. I especially liked getting a delivery at the office.... of course everyone just assumed it was D who sent it. Hahaha.

Dot, Flo and Angie took me out to lunch at Rocky Master, and drat I forgot to take a photo. Chocolate cake again :) In the evening, it was dinner with Durai at Amici in Holland Village. His sister and bro-in-law joined us for dinner - Italian food with yummy tiramisu for dessert.

The next day, Saturday, it was a Mexican lunch at Cha Cha Cha with Sham and Mini, with a sinful Kahlua chocolate mousse for dessert.... mmmm...



In the evening, we went over to D's sister's place for dinner and the in-laws had a cake for me too... more chocolate. Sadly, sadly, by this time I was really beginning to have enough of chocolate. I really MUST be getting old :)

Sunday was a quiet day and on Monday we had a birthday celebration at the office after all the PW people came back from their external work. Tiramisu!!!

In the evening, it was dinner at Swenson's with friends who have to remain mysteriously anonymous as it is crucial that their identity be protected :) No cake this time but ice-cream!!!

And then stuffed with all that food and cake, the festivities finally came to an end on Tuesday with Thai food with Johnson and Yvonne!



Looking at all these photos I swear I can just see myself growing fatter and fatter from the pic taken on my birthday to the pic at Thai Express!!! Yikes!!! Time to hit the gym and that 4-letter word!!!!